Streets of merde
It is possible to talk for endless days about the niceties of Paris, but one major problem here are the dog turd infested pavements creating obstacle courses only the observant and agile can navigate. This is not just a Parisian problem, but one that seems to plague France as a whole. The fines are rarely enforced; the French have no incentive to clean up after their dogs and well, here in Paris I think a lot of them are simply too posh to scoop that poop.
Fear not for I shall not subject you to any photographs despite my temptation by a particular gravity defying, vertical construction, rising up like the leaning tower of Pisa on my way to Lidl last weekend.
For the most part the art of safe passage is a subconscious affair. The eyes briefly scan downwards taking in the next six or seven metres of pavement before you (this can vary depending on whether other city dwellers obscure your view), and then you can walk forwards in moderate confidence before the process repeats. Occasionally you’ll see evidence of doggie doo victims: a large skid mark at the source and a pattern of diminishing patches where the victim has tried to remove the obnoxious filth from their shoe.
The problem is really quite severe with some pavements completely littered with the stuff. This becomes an even greater problem for those poor folk with pushchairs, white sticks, wheelchairs, or when dragging a trolley back from the supermarket. In the autumn when the leaves fall from the trees you have to refrain from walking over them or romantically kicking them about for fear of what lies beneath. When it snows and many feet turn the pristine white flakes to a brown slush you never quite know if you’re walking over mucky snow or a snow-merde slush puppie surprise.
You can glower all you like at a French person walking away from the scene of a crime, you might also try to reeducate them in the errors of their ways, but do not expect them to take it with good grace. The brown knolls of foul odour will adorn the streets of Paris for years to come.
Reader Comments
I’ve lived in Paris since May and I’ve yet to have to step over any dog poo – it’s been a pleasant surprise and a nice change after five years in Bretagne!
Hi Ksam, I don’t know which part of Paris you live in, but I think you’re doing exceptionally well, I’m swerving around it on a daily basis.
I noticed in Paris that, indeed, the posher the neighborhood, the more dog poop one finds on the ground.
Which is not surprising knowing the Parisian bourgeoisie.
Then, not walking on dog poop is an acquired skill every French person learns through years of practice, as you mention, the trick is to scan a few meters ahead when one walks in the streets.
Hi David, I think you’re close to the truth. I’m stuck in the bourgeoisie part of the city. Here we have old lady’s in fur coats, upturned noses and little terrier’s treated like royalty. That does account for quite a lot of poop! Now with that said I’ve been to other French city’s like Perpignan and found some areas far worse than Paris.
I don’t know, I live in the 5th, which isn’t exactly the ghetto…I walk a lot though, and as I said, rarely see poo! In fact, now that I think about it, I rarely even seen dogs pooping here.
I believe you, but perhaps there are less dog owners in the 5th, or they take their pooches for walks on a different route? If I gave you a guided tour of the 16th you’d see your fair share of the stuff. One of the worst experiences was walking along the street that borders the Seine to catch the tram one day.
As you go towards more central Paris I have seen street cleaning people and machinery which I have never seen in action over here on the west side.
Hi Gavin, do you know the book “A year in the merde” by Stephen Clark? He has some interesting anecdotes about french dog poo and daily parisian life. It could cheer you a bit up !
In my arrondissement (13th) dogs are good educated, I don’t see that much of it. On the other hand, in the 17th arrondissement where I work (a lot posher), it’s far more dangerous to stroll around looking at facades and balconies !
Hi SurfAnna, I do know the book and have actually read it – couldn’t say I really warmed to Stephen Clark’s writing and attitudes. I do vaguely recall his piece on dog poo.
Glad to hear you have educated dogs – I think it’s the owner’s who need educating here in the 16th; they seem to have the same mentality as those in the 17th. I was in the 11th yesterday, and whilst I wasn’t consciously looking out for the stuff, now I stop to think about it, I don’t recall seeing any! I think certain districts need dog poo enforcement officers patrolling the streets.
Gavin,
I lived in Paris for one year while studying Aerospace Engineering at L’Ecole Polytechnique Femminine. I am about to head back to Paris for a job with Airbus. I had a great time despite the pros and cons of Parisian life and cannot wait to go back.
I also wanted to apologize for the actions of my partner and hope you will check your email for further explanation.
-Je suis désole monsieur, il faut que vous comprenez ce qui s’est passée. Lisez l’email s’il vous plait.
hmm i have been visiting france off and on for about 3 years, and living here for 1 year, and i have noticed and even more disturbing thing….its not just the dogs poo, its the peoples pee!! Paris smells of pee all summer long, as thought there are no toilets in the city!
but to be fare its not even just paris, its other french cities too, people dont know how to hold it in, and simply drop ther childrens panties in the street and let the pee in full public, even right outside a McDonalds!
What was the expression about pooing on your own doorstep? the french have no idea. xoxo