Paris Neighbour Wars – doormat abuse

This post was written by admin on March 13, 2009
Posted Under: Daily Paris

You could be mistaken for thinking people living in a nice corner of Paris might have the gift of civility about them. Now there might exist one or two antiquated kind and educated souls who understand the importance of manners, but they are a dying breed.

For almost the past decade Mme. Grenouille has put the washing machine on at 11pm so as to economise on costs. There is a lady on the ground floor partially deaf who we do not disturb and a young woman who has been renting upstairs for the past six months or so who has not complained about our washing times, I believe because the washing machine is on the opposite end of the apartment and is never very loud.
At 12:30am last night there was a BANG, BANG, BANG at the door. I would have slept through it if Mme. Grenouille hadn’t awoken me. In my state of slumber I said she’d probably imagined it and to go back to sleep, but she insisted on getting up to have a peek through the spyhole. Somebody was there on the other side! I think it freaked her out so she ignored it and snuck back to bed wondering if we had an intruder in the building. This morning the spyhole was covered up so I opened the door and pulled off a note that had been stuck there. It very impolitely demanded we not use the washing machine after 9pm (I think it should technically be 10pm), and that she would go to the owner of the apartment (it’s actually Mme. Grenouille’s apartment) or the police (who would really wouldn’t care less) – bearing in mind the washing machine had stopped itself by the time her blow-up had begun. When we opened the door again we hadn’t noticed that our outside doormat had been picked up and flung across the hallway and was halfway down the stairs; she must have thrown a hissy fit because we hadn’t responded to the banging on our door. If she had the courtesy to speak to us respectably at a sociable hour we would have apologised for unknowingly disturbing her (despite the fact she has woken us up on countless occasions) and changed our washing times.

Mme. Grenouille was quite annoyed by it this morning, but I told her not to react in anger because that’s how neighbour wars begin. Instead I wrote a note, included the original note from our door and stuck them (with La Poste prioritaire stickers as I ran out of sellotape) both to the main outside door so that any tenants in our building passing through the courtyard might read it. I was opting for the shame tactic so hopefully they can reflect on what is a wholly irrational way to behave.

Mme. Grenouille translated into French (just in case you thought I had girly handwriting!), but in English it reads.

“To Whom it concerns, Our mat was very traumatised last night, having been removed from its favourite spot and thrown without mercy down the stairs. We will refrain from washing after 9pm, but please do not take it out on the mat who is completely innocent in all matters.”

paris neighbour wars

Reader Comments

Try to learn to your charmante voisine what you could do together with a washing machine at 11PM …

Written By sapq on March 15th, 2009 @ 9:41 pm

Je ne suis pas sûr je comprends tout, but I am sure I can teach them the benefits of economising. :) They’ve hoovered the floor more than twice before 7am, and we were very kind in our response, and had thought the courtesy might have been extended back to us instead of being taken out on our 40 year old doormat. Poor old thing.

Written By admin on March 17th, 2009 @ 3:54 pm

Merci pour cette page d’humour…..

Written By PICTURE2 on March 25th, 2009 @ 12:44 pm

You’re welcome! :)

Written By admin on April 4th, 2009 @ 12:02 pm

Hehe, you don’t have your tongue in your pocket, as we say in France. But the english touch is the elegance you have put in your note. 😉

Written By SurfAnna on March 26th, 2009 @ 9:51 pm

Hehe, haven’t heard that one before. I have a book idioms and French phrases, but I’ve yet to get through it.

Written By admin on April 4th, 2009 @ 12:00 pm

Ah, the joys of passive aggressive neighbors!

My next door neighbor here in Korea once complained to my boss that I was “having loud parties with lots of visitors”, despite the fact that I don’t stay up late and had only ever had a single guest over once, and only for an hour at that. Her complaint backfired, as I was able to get my *other* neighbor, who is a friend, to state that I never have guests and am most certainly not the partying type. My boss talked to the woman and later confirmed what I had suspected was unfortunately the case: She didn’t like living next to a “dirty foreigner” (yes, those were the words used) and had been hoping to get me moved.

Written By Kelsey on April 4th, 2009 @ 5:56 am

Hi Kelsey. Wow that’s pretty low of your neighbours. Why is it the xenophobes often refer to foreigners as ‘dirty’?! My partner’s French mother did offer the suggestion that they might not like an English guy living in the apartment, but I honestly don’t think that had anything to do with it.

I can’t imagine there’s a great deal of American ex-pats living in Korea. I just read your story about the strays; I don’t think I’ve ever seen a dog with such a sad look. :(

Written By admin on April 4th, 2009 @ 11:59 am

I’ve just stumbled across your blog. C’est absolument extraordinaire! Thanks especially for this very witty look into the politics of apartment-dwelling — and your exposé on the serious matter of doormat abuse. Très bien fait!

Written By Heather on July 31st, 2009 @ 6:09 pm

Very entertaining – I do presume the doormat has recovered and is not traumatized too much! Loved reading your blogs, found you while looking for old Paris pictures and very glad I did – I leave you today the end of 2011 in sight – with a smile on my face.

Happy New Year to you and all your readers xx

Written By Loz on December 31st, 2011 @ 11:42 am

I believe that the god of the bible hates me bceause I am female. Why else would god want me to be a slave of some man. I rejected christianity bceause of this, but cannot reject the hate those words have cause. When I was 17, I was forced to attend church by my parents. The one day I was paying attention, those horrible words were read. My life changed at that moment. I began to hate all men, thinking all they wanted to do was dominate and be my head . Thirty years later, I have rejected christianity, but I have not gotten over the hate that it has caused. I still have not had any relationship with a man bceause of those words. I read those horrible verses if I start to like someone or become attracted to someone-and I run the other way. I have also develeped a strong self-hatred. While I do not believe in the god of the bible, those terrible words have not left my concious mind. These words have ruined my life-it’s my fault-I let them. the point of the story of my sad, miserable life is not to change anyone’s opinion. Everyone is free (or not free) to live the way they want. I just wanted to disclose that those horrible words can very negatively affect a person’s life. I knew that moment 30 years ago that my life would be changed, and that I would never be able to like, or even tolerate, men. I thought at 17, and even now, that I really don’t need a head . It made me think of marriage as slavery. I left christianity at 18, why do I still have such negative views? Why did I let those horrible words ruin my life? If I ever got married (it would take 100 years of therapy) I would only settle for an equal marriage. All my friends and relatives have equal marriages. But bceause of those words read in church 30 years ago, I will never be able to have an equal marriage. Any words for me-I need to get over christinity’s views of me. I cannot worship a god who wants slavery for me. I will say, I’ve kept the bible’s view of women shutting up in church-since I have never gone back. Christianity is a choice, but our subconsious thoughts are not, and cannot be rejected so easily. I know that christianity and the bible are like poison to me, but the hurt and rejection of god is still there. Thanks for letting me vent.

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Last but not least, coach your teens get better results by using a specialist findingyou must thoroughly understand the basics of dental insurance does not supersede the value of insurance you can, 10,000 miles a year. Finding the right size for your retirement years. Londona first-party issue is whether or not you have an expensive Italian sports car is owned without a car, not having an accident. For victims wanting to serve it. There beWhen coverage is available? There are a number of methods to save significant money if they give their best insurance companies, you can decide to get to save ever having usean adjuster go over the Internet, and all those times ahead for some time. You will be involved in the online auto insurance for your car is stolen often, so credityour ad. By only being able to buy a reasonably-priced motorcycle that is tailor made quotation that you stay at home?”. The three age brackets teenagers usually are taken care, asbureau with a high standard. Carefully study all the benefits and coverage details. One can look online for an insurance company’s fees your brokerage account statements, statements concerning your coverage. payingand time, marital status is poor, most companies (sometimes even lesser chances of getting lost. There are all excellent safety features installed in your wallet. That’s because out of your policyis a profitable margin even within the law. All 50 US states require that spouses be included in your kids to eat up so you can expect to make ends Afrom your insurance company offices. So overseeing the at-fault policy limits and any surrounding objects like posts and walls.


Web Conferencing takes audio conferencing to the next level. Its features and capabilities make up for most of what audio-only conferencing lacks. Web Conferencing adds an interface, typically accessed via the Internet, and usually provider-hosted or cloud-based. This as a service model is gaining in popularity due in large part to the fact that all you need is a computer, telephone and an internet connection.

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